Archive for March, 2008

Semana Santa sa Baguio

Posted in Happenings, Samu't Saring Angst on March 25, 2008 by niennavarda

Nagdaan na naman ang isang Semana Santa sa Baguio and as usual, nagmuryot lang ako sa bahay. Ayokong sabayan ang mga bakasyonista sa iba’t ibang sulok ng Pilipinas na parang mga ignoranteng nagsisiksikan sa kahit anong sulok na may patch of grass na pwedeng magpicnic. My gad, di niyo ba alam na ang jologs-jologs ng Burnham Park? Walang taga-Baguio na nagpipicnic diyan. At mas mabuti na rin siguro na di niyo malaman na isang malawak na CR ng mga driver at n____t ang inaakala niyong napakagandang park na yan. Hehehe, yep, yan ang sikreto kung bakit magaganda ang mga halaman diyan. Hahaha! Yuuuck!!! Pagnabasa niyo to, sana magdalawang-isip muna kayo bago magpinic uli diyan. Ako’y nagmamagandang loob lang. Hehehe. Pero yuck talaga.

At ang Minesview Park, parang tulad lang yan ng scenery sa likod ng bahay namin. Mas maganda pa nga ata samin eh. Ewan ko ba, ngayon lang ba kayo nakakita ng bangin?

Bakit ba kayo pumupunta sa Baguio pag Holy Week? I mean, kung gusto niyo lang ng malamig, mag-aircon na lang kayo. Isa pang magtatanong ng directions sakin ng papuntang John Hay, Burnham, Minesview at Sagada, ililigaw ko na, pramis!

But don’t take me wrong, mahal ko ang Baguio. Mahal na mahal! Nalulungkot lang ako na kamukha na rin niya ang Quiapo ngayon. Baguio, what has happened to you? I miss the Baguio when we were kids. Noong amoy pine tree pa siya. At wala pang evil SM sa tuktok ng Session Road. At may Coney Island ice cream pa sa John Hay. At lahat ng tao MAGALING pang mag-English. At mababa ang crime rate. I miss Baguio… sniff… masyado na siya commercialized ngayon.

Who am I not to be?

Posted in Nuggets of Wisdom on March 19, 2008 by niennavarda

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are we not to be? You are the child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~ Marianne Williamson

Nasaan Ka Na Kaya?

Posted in Poetry on March 11, 2008 by niennavarda

Ang sumusunod na tula ay likha ng isa sa mga pinaka-astig at pinaka-talentado kong kaibigan na itatago ko na lamang sa pangalang flipflop. Isa siya sa mga nakapag-inspire sakin sumulat kaya sana ipagpatuloy niya lang ang kanyang nasimulan.

Hahaha, mukhang obvious na obvious na yata kung sino siya, ah, hehehe. Anyway, I did my best to keep your identity šŸ˜‰

Malamang naglalakad, tumutunganga,
nakatingin sa malayo, lumilipad ang isip,
wala sa sarili, nakasanayan na ang pagmumuni-muni.

Malamang mugto pa rin ang iyong mga mata,
hindi na talaga nagsawa sa pag-iyak,
kulang na lang ubusin na ang lahat ng luha sa katawan.

Malamang parati kang natitigilan,
naaalala mo ang mga panahong nagdaan,
naiisip mo ang ating mga kasiyahan at kalungkutan.

Malamang nilulunod mo ang sarili mo sa trabaho,
o di kaya ibinubuhos mo sa iba ang buong atensyon
para unti-unti at dahan-dahan kang makalimot.

Malamang, siguro, yan ang drama ng mga hindi sigurado.
Malamang, hanggang ngayon, iniisip mo pa rin ako,
siguro nangungulila ka rin kagaya ko.

Pero pwede rin namang hindi pala,
hindi na ako sumasagi kahit saglit sa isip mo.
Malamang ako lang pala ang nawawala.

Nasaan ka na kaya?

Malamang nakalimot ka na.

Panalo tong mga linyang to:

Pero pwede rin namang hindi pala,
hindi na ako sumasagi kahit saglit sa isip mo.
Malamang ako lang pala ang nawawala.

Waaaah! Tagos sa dibdib :((

Rise Up and Walk

Posted in Happenings on March 10, 2008 by niennavarda

After a month of limping and being carried and wheeled around, I could finally walk! Yahoo! šŸ™‚

Iā€™m Tryin To Make Me Go to Rehab…

Posted in Happenings with tags , , on March 6, 2008 by niennavarda

I had my first rehab session yesterday at the Philippine Heart Center’s Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation Section. Both my Ortho and Rehab doctors are suspecting meniscal injuries and are hoping that I would respond well to the therapy so I wouldn’t have to go under the knife. I’m crossing my fingers and praying really hard (yes, I’m praying again after sooo long) that the rehabilitation would work wonders and that I’ll be able to walk normally in time for my departure to Japan. The odds are just nerve-racking!

The day before going to the rehab, my Ortho doctor injected some kick-ass pain steroids directly to my knee. Needless to say, it was painful! I would have cried if I was the crying type. The thought of some metallic, pointed, foreign object being forced into my knee joint was beyond me and the sensation of some viscous fluid being oozed inside was really some experience. I wouldn’t forget that until the day I die. Anyway, after the seemingly endless minutes of torture, the steroids kicked-in and Hallelujah! I couldn’t feel pain. For the first time in a very long time, I was able to lightly step on my left leg. I was due for rehab the next day.

My Ortho doctor recommended either National Kidney Institute or Heart Center. I was eyeing NKI at first since their rehab department was only on the 2nd floor versus the Heart’s Center’s 8th floor but their slots were full and I just wanted to start my rehab immediately. The Heart Center lady over the telephone was also more accommodating so Heart Center it is. I chose well. The rehab facilities at the Phil Heart Center were good and the staff were all warm and friendly (my Physical Therapist was hot!). I even bumped into Kuya Dave Griffiths at the rehab. He was also having PT sessions for his back. But I guess, all hospitals have their flaws. Have I already mentioned that the Rehab Department was on the 8th floor? Billings were issued at the department and payments are to be made at the cashier on the ground floor! Isn’t that just great? It was just so freakin’ smart of them, I think. And I thought I could manage going to rehab alone. Good thing Kuya Caloy loves me and promised to go with me on all my rehab sessions (waaah! what would I do without you, Kuya?) which is by the way, everyday at 7 o’clock in the morning. Indeed, one of the perks of being injured is that you genuinely feel that you are loved.

My rehabilitation consists of an ultrasound, electrocution, muscle stretching and walking. I was kind of a bit scared of the electrocution thing at first having a lot of traumatic experiences with electricity in my past life but it turned out it was one of the most relaxing parts of my therapy. They had a 4KHz, 20 Hz frequency modulated signal with a 30mA current pass through my knee and thigh muscles. The current was to be increased every 5 minutes and it does alleviate the pain! Amazing! My favorite part of the rehab was the muscle stretching. Being able to stretch my tight muscles after weeks and weeks of no use was just… ooooohhh! Rehab was like having a Thai massage everyday! Rehab is bliss if only it were not draining all my hard-earned money. Yezzz, tama ang commercial ng Clusivol, mahal magkasakit kaya bawal magkasakit. I promise never to scrooge on myself again after this. I am going to enjoy every penny (or centavo or yen) I’m ever going to earn to live a happy life and to make others happy. After this experience, I’m going to live life as if death is just an arm’s length away. First step, rehab. Tomorrow, earth, beware, I’ll be let loose soon!


Posted in God, Mga Karunungan, Nuggets of Wisdom with tags , , on March 4, 2008 by niennavarda
… and so is this the wrath of God that hath fallen down on me?

Went to UERMMMC early this afternoon for a 4th consult regarding my knee. My knee has been hurting really bad for a month now and I’ve been walking in crutches for more than two weeks. I am due for rehab and if that doesn’t work I’m off to surgery. I’ve never thought that one little mistake could have such fatal consequences.

This comes with plenty of hard lessons to be learned and I surrender to the higher powers. If this won’t teach me a lesson, I don’t know what would. The aftermath of my stupidity and ignorance and sin has really cost me a lot. I know I’ve been really, really bad and I’m sorry. I really am sorry.

The incident has put a lot of things in perspective. I’ve learned to appreciate the things you would normally not appreciate when you are whole. I’ve learned to appreciate running, walking and dancing. I’ve learned to grab every opportunity to have fun and to travel and to experience new things. I have learned to say “No” to people I care about if what they offer may potentially harm me. I learned never to do anything against my will. I’ve learned to think more of myself, that it is all right to put myself first and not others all the time. I’ve learned to ask for help, to swallow my pride and be dependent on the people who care about me, the kind souls around me (and this really, really hurt). I’ve learned (and to borrow Samwise Gamgee’s words) that there is good in this world and it is worth fighting for. I’ve learned to love life. I’ve learned to appreciate mine. I shouldn’t waste it away.

I’ve been thinking for quite some time now how long I could still outsmart God. I’ve done a substantial amount of pretty bad things in the past couple of years and I have been putting all my wits to deter cataclysmal ramifications. But I know it’s all just a matter of time. I know that bottom line is, in the end, no matter how long it takes, God would win and all the consequences would come crashing down on me. He would no longer withhold his wrath. My sins would catch up on me.

Perhaps, I haven’t really been outsmarting God. Perhaps, it was just grace pulling me through. But if it is grace, how long will it last until it runs dry? Would grace still be extended to me if I’ve used up all the grace that there is for me? God help me. You win.

American Gods

Posted in Books/Book Review with tags , , on March 4, 2008 by niennavarda

To celebrate his blog’s 7th birthday, Neil Gaiman, the author of The Sandman graphic novels and Stardust put up an online poll to make one of his books free online and American Gods won šŸ™‚

I am still on its 233rd page and I must say it is addictive. Hope to give a good book review on this one soon šŸ™‚

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